i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Kiss
Puke
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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