onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
