Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
