I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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