this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
