Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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