see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
