I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
