Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
