i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
