ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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