Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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