after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
