That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
