I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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