I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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