Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
