I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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