ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
