So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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