Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
