Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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