i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
