ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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