you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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