you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
ttyl tear gas
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize