I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
