Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
