yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
