We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
