you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
