Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
