Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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