We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
