please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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