literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
