Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
