so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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