while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
