is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
