You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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