i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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