Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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