It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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