i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
