i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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