Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
