ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
