I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who died my cat blue again?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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