Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize