FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
