So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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