i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
