yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
