Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
