Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
