my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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