I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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