after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
