your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
