Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
